Are Nice Guys Too Nice?

Some people are instinctually attracted to jerks. If you’re one of them, maybe it’s time to try dating one of the nice guys. You might like the change. The other day a single friend told me that they met a younger cub online and is excited about it because he seems really nice, but said ‘Not too nice I hope’ following her excitement. I sat and thought about what that meant. A new term has been coined for guys who are too nice – Cinderfella. What does this mean? Essentially it means that the guy is a pushover. The thing is, younger guys are just a little more sensitive these days. If you’re a cougar, you’ll want to keep that in mind. Are women so used to dating jerks, and guys who are emotionally unavailable, that the moment they see a glimmer of what a nice guys looks like, they run away or find fault in him? When I pointed this out, my friend had a mini epiphany, but still said, ‘I just hope he doesn’t want to tie my shoes or anything’.

Do We Love To Date The Jerk?

It’s amazing how this double standard of dating a person who is too nice goes. We want the bad boy, the kind of bitchy woman, and a little bit of mystery. When we have these things we feel like we have something to work for, like we’re striving to win something from this person that they’re not giving up. It’s exhausting, energy consuming and honestly, a huge waste of time. A relationship should require effort, but not if you feel like you’re fighting a losing game, or playing any game for that matter. Why do nice guys finish last? Women want romance and flattery, but apparently there’s a limit. Guys want a loyal girl, but if she’s ‘too loyal’ or ‘too available’, that means she’s needy. Are we just constantly setting ourselves up for failure? You’re at an advantage with your age difference dynamic. You’ll both be attracted to each other for reasons other than character. If you can keep the physical attraction at the forefront, you might not get to the jerk and bitch stage.

Finding Balance Is Key

In a perfect world maybe we would all find the perfect person who falls somewhere in between the jerk and the nice guy. Unfortunately, that’s not always possible. The world is saturated with people looking for great relationships, and 91% of those people are looking online. The good news is, online dating can be a lot more tailored to your needs which ups your chances of finding your ideal partner. You can adjust your profile to find the guy who will buy you flowers and who also thinks guys nights are a once a week thing. You can find girls who are perfect to bring home to mom but are also strong, independent women. The key is finding a person with confidence over a person who will treat you badly. You don’t need the jerk to keep you happy, although you might think otherwise. There are ways to find the happy medium. If you happen to meet a guy who seems like a true Cinderfella, let him treat you like a princess or tie your shoes if he wants to. You can always dial back a too-gooder, but you can’t inject the nice guy gene into an a**hole. If you’re riding the single train, and have been for a long time, maybe it’s time you ask yourself why. Are you holding out for something that doesn’t exist? Maybe try embracing what’s in front of you. You might be pleasantly surprised.

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