Are Your Friends Too Involved In Your Relationships?

It’s easy to let other people weigh in on what we should and shouldn’t be doing in our relationships. Setting boundaries allows you to take charge again. We all have that one friend who can’t wait to say ‘I told you so’ when one of our relationships fail. Is it fair of them? Maybe not, but our friends think they have our best interests at heart. There comes a time when a little phrase like that can turn into something bigger. If you feel like you know what’s best for you and your friend thinks they know what’s best for you, who’s right? Your friends say they have your back and want you to be happy, but when are they taking it too far? It’s easy to judge from the outside, but we all fall into the habit of omitting the things we do to aid in a relationship fail. So, how do we change this? The obvious answer would be to stop revealing everything about your relationship to your friends, but that is easier said than done. The next logical thing would be to be honest. If you’re upfront about yours and your partners downfalls, your friends but not be so quick to throw a ‘bad’ relationship in your face. If you’re honest, you might get more of a therapy session and less of a scolding. It will be especially tough when you’re in a cougar/cub relationship. You’ll get a whole lot of advice from people thinking you should date someone your own age.

Setting Boundaries Is Healthy

We all have to set boundaries for ourselves and for our relationships, all of them. Our friends, our lovers, our family, everyone. When you dump all of your problems onto someone else’s lap, they eventually feel like they have the right to say what they want. Boundaries become thinner, smaller and weaker. If you want to stay in control of your decisions, and you don’t want someone weighing in on every little detail, start keeping more of yourself to yourself. People only treat us the way that we have allowed them to. If you are giving your best friend the go-ahead to speak on your relationship dynamics, to give you advice on every little detail and to tell you what’s best for you, you are setting the example. If you want to give your friends less control over your love life, you need to take that control back.

Keep Your Personal Relationships Your Own

Remember that you are the one with you at all times. You’re not a kid anymore and by now should have an idea of what’s best for you. If you’re in a relationship that makes you feel good, stay in it. Allow yourself to be happy. If you’re in a relationship that doesn’t makes you feel good, you don’t need your friend to tell you to leave. There are certain decisions that you need to make on your own, and what you allow in a relationship is definitely one of them. Your ‘in your business’ friends are in your business because you brought them there. If you want space, you’re going to have to build those boundaries back up. Just like you can’t control what anyone else does, you should let anyone control what you’re doing, especially if it feels good. If you enjoy the older woman/ younger man relationship, enjoy it to the fullest!

Leave your friends out of it and find love for yourself on Milftastic. Only you call the shots on this site.